All the things I stopped doing that were not serving me
THE DUNGEONS
Think about some of the beliefs or patterns you have had for years or even your whole life. Most likely the majority of these have a positive effect on you and those around you. Okay… now think about the beliefs and patterns that have not received the highest praise. Those are the beliefs and patterns that you can begin to undo today. It will not be a walk in the park and it can take years. But if you start right this moment, you are further along than you were 1 minute ago.
For my own undoing, I started with the source of the belief or pattern, where did it start? Most started in adolescence or during one of the unhealthy seasons of my early twenties. Think about it. We lived under our parents' roof for years and were accustomed to their beliefs, patterns, and mindsets. That became our norm. I call it a dungeon because you were not really aware of other ways of living other than the short periods of time at school or visiting someone else’s home. But lingering in your mind the whole time is your parents’ way of doing things. Then boom! at 18 you’re out of the house thrown into this world of so many different beliefs and patterns. Some you are open to exploring and possibly converting to, while others you wholeheartedly do not agree with. All awhile holding on to many of the beliefs and patterns that you learned from your parents. Unfortunately, some are toxic and were learned through generational trauma. Unknowingly you have prescribed yourself to something that does not belong to you. As I look over my life there were stories that I told myself about myself that were not true and that is the other kind of dungeon. The dungeon of being locked away in a false story that you continue to tell yourself and others about yourself. But there is a way out of these dungeons and it’s called undoing.
EMERGING
You can resurface from the dungeons of patterns and beliefs that are holding you back from a fuller and happier life. Not saying your life is not amazing right now but if you have related to any of this so far, there must be parts that need some maintenance. Think about current and past relationships. What are the frequent negative reviews you receive? That is one way to pin which things need some undoing. Now think about things you feel like you are constantly working through but never seem to get a grip on. That can be another avenue to find what you need to undo. Remember that undoing is not the end-all. You have to be able to discern when something just needs to be modified and not completely undone. For example, I used to receive the review that I was too strict around plans and if they did not go as expected I would have an attitude. Instead of totally undoing being a planner all together, I instead became less strict. Now I am complimented on my natural planning skills because I learned how to leave room for flexibility.
PEACE THROUGH UNDOING
If it does not bring me peace, I do not want it. Everything in life will not be peaceful but the things I choose to be frequent in my life will be peaceful. Here are a few of the things that I have undone and what I replaced them with.
Undone or Stopped| Replaced with
- Compulsive Shopping |Minimalism and Intentionality
- Not working on myself while not dating |Using the time that I’m not dating to make changes
- Putting strict timelines or deadlines |Letting life flow naturally
- Sex |Abstinence (For over 2 years now!)
- No structure or routine | Morning and Night Routine
- Feeling sluggish and stiff | Eating green and stretching every day
- Playing small/telling a false story about myself | Leading with my authentic self
- Letting a health condition create low self-esteem and fear | Investing time and $ in a system that decreases the side effects which gave me higher self-esteem and confidence
- Giving others too much access to myself and no self-worth | Boundaries, finding my voice, and knowing who I am and what I deserve
Now it’s your turn! I want you to remember you can love every part of your life. You can undo the parts that are not serving you. You can be addicted to all good things (addiction is not a bad word). You can protect your energy and peace. I believe in you.
Thank you for reading.
With Joy,
Evolving Muse
Follow on Instagram & Twitter: evolving.muse & _evolvingmuse
